– an investigation of the human condition

Will I go through with this one?

(23rd May 2009)

It’s been a little short of a year since I last wrote a blog post.

Well no, to be honest – I’ve written heaps… My drafts folder is currently full of articles and thoughts and entries that I’ve written over the last 10 months. However, towards the end of writing each of them, I’ve felt that what I wrote would be of no interest to anyone, that it had no substance and thus was not worth publishing. I felt that silence was perhaps better. A lot of things have happened over the last few months, and I began writing about many of them. For each I thought “this would be the end of the dry-spell”. Yet, when I got about three-quarters into it, I would question why I was writing anything in the first place – I couldn’t find an answer and so nothing ever got published.

I don’t really know what the purpose of this post is… I guess it’s just to see if I can go through with actually publishing something………  – nah, I can’t do it. We’ll save this, perhaps for a later date.

— About One Week Later(29th May 2009)

Okay, well I’m back to see if I can complete this one. I think it’s a matter of me not being really passionate about anything anymore. (That might be a little bit of a lie, I am indeed looking forward to the release of the next iPhone that I’ve been waiting for since June 2007 – and rumor has it that it will be announced on my birthday this year)

I guess I’ve returned in order to procrastinate a little as well. I’ve got 4 Advanced Academic Reports, 3 Practical Reports, a Quiz (not assessable, but I’d still want to do well in it) and 2 practise Spot Tests, due and scheduled for the next two weeks. Then to top it off, 6 end of semester exams.

Oh and another interesting note, in the last few weeks and in the coming months I know of about 6 couples getting engaged and 2 getting married. It’s insane! Not to mention that I’ve had a 20th/21st for every weekend for the past month and coming two months. A couple of Saturday’s ago I was invited to 5 birthdays all on the one night (1x 19th, 1x 20th, 2x 21sts, 1x 23rd) . Okay, again I feel that there is no point in me publishing this. This post has no purpose!… I might go work on my Animal Ethics Report.

–Another Week Later(2 June 2009)

What is wrong with me? I sometimes really want to write, but I can’t make myself come to publish anything. I have withdrawn myself from a lot of different things over the last 10 months, and I’ve actually enjoyed it. Slowly I’m becoming more social again, but I don’t know if I’m really up for that. I like the idea of just disappearing from everything… I like the idea of just being forgotten about… Things would be a whole lot more peaceful. There would be no-one analysing you, scrutinising your actions; confusing you, dictating your ways.

–Two Weeks Later– (14th June 2009)

I have no idea why I am back, its not like this post will ever get published. My 6 exams start tomorrow and span the next fortnight. I should be studying. As I predicted, the new iPhone 3GS was released the night of my birthday. I’ll probably buy one because my new phone has almost died (it takes me about 30 seconds to open a new message!). That being said, I’m not sure if I’m entirely convinced that I love the new iPhone. But yeah, I can’t be bothered explaining why right now. It’s also come to my attention that I’ve been working on this one post for over a month now… It’s a pretty rubbish post. I need to change Methre. I need to make it different. I think I need to return back to the old philosophical writings that I was more comfortable writing. Back in the days before BigBlogger – back when I had my MSN Live Spaces blog. But yeah, it wouldn’t be as accessible for everyone in that case. I’d be losing a lot of readers. Hmm… I think I might actually publish this post now. Let’s go ahead and see….

–Over One Year Later– (2nd July 2010)

Well, I didn’t publish it. And here I am, a whole year later. We now have the iPhone 4, I no longer do exams, I no longer have any immediate assessments (just one big thesis to write!) and well…  apart from that – not much has changed.

Except for the fact that in more recent times, I have become fascinated with people. Their behaviour, their actions, their interactions. The things they say, the things they don’t say and the things that they wish they hadn’t said. The beauty of this, however, is that observation – to be perfect – must be done in a completely neutral, objective and untainted way. No judgement; complete appreciation and acceptance. You can learn so much about the human condition. You can learn to know and feel others. You can learn so much about yourself in the same way. You can learn to love, and be loved.

… finally!

published–

Do I continue to publish? Yes, or no?

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3 responses

  1. Shere PisTavros

    interesting writing, please post more?
    I write poems and articles myself but never thought of blogging them, it seems we have similar trends of thought and wonders

    GB.

    July 3, 2010 at 4:50 pm

  2. Anon

    Yes!!! Despite the vast amount of writing and thinking that you will be doing for your thesis, I think that personal reflections on this blog – be they deeply philosophical or seemingly irrelevant – would be helpful. In fact, I think you would find them both cathartic for now and fascinating to read in the future! 🙂

    Besides, you write so beautifully, and I enjoy looking into your brain!! I’m dying to read more, so don’t leave me hanging!

    And to comment on your post: while you can observe the behaviours of people interacting with you and other people, I don’t think that you can ever be completely objective! You will be tainted by your own past experiences, just like the subjects that you observe.

    After you have finished your observations of human behaviour we will see if you discover love… then perhaps you can send some tips my way!

    July 3, 2010 at 4:52 pm

  3. Liz

    You write beautifully.

    September 8, 2010 at 10:45 pm

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